i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm both gender and math confused
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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