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I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
