Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
