I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
