Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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