Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
