Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
