I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
