So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
do nipples grow back?
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