Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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