Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
