In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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