i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
