Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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