the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
