oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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