I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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