she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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