so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
