it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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