3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
