Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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