what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
