I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
