my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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