bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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