I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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