Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
