She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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