I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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