I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
