Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
