I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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