The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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