just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
