Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
