I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
