are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
