My hair reeks of homosexuality.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
