that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
