Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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