Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
