I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
