im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize