I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
