babies were throwing up all over the place
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
