i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
