Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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