whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
