I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
