Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
