I don't usually arrange sex via text message
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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